I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize