Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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