i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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