So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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