Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize