I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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