remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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