Already got asked if we're dating
plz talk dirty to me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize