At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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