Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize