Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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