Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize