I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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