all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Alive.
So much puke
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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