Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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