Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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