your thong is hanging out like whoa
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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