lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't deserve a penis
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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