Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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