I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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