Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize