Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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