apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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