So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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