am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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