I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize