if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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