she woke up with a sticky ear
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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