can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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