what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize