I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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