I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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