dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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