Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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