I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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