After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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