didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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