Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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