the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
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i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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