Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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