You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize