I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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