i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize