Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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