Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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