take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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