I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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