shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize