I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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