At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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